Vices

You can tell the kind of day I had by how much diet coke is in my trash can at work. Well, I've been here 4.5 hours, and I count, 4. I realize that when I'm upset there's a number of things I do, and very few of them are self destructive (unless you count mass pickle consumption as a problem). Anyways, these things include (but are not limited to): running, other forms of exercise, pickles, crystal light, honey nut cheerios, packs of gum, word vomitting, on line shopping, cheap champagne, oh, and obsessing. That one's pretty self destructive. The good news is, most of these vices emphasize the others, for instance - running makes the champagne more potent, it also causes a loss of sodium so I require pickles, the champagne makes the obsessing much more frequent (and audible - often in the form of word vomitting.) Here's the thing, I'm not ashamed of my vices. I'm a little obsessive, and that makes me a little insecure, but so what, I'm secure about the fact that every now and then I need a little reassurance. Running defines me, its where I do my best thinking, and its helped shape me into the woman I am, it gives me the confidence to go ahead, and the only thing that has been able to teach me to live in the moment. Word vomitting I would argue is a little less deep, something carried out by myself and my roommate as we re-hash (obsess) over the different outcomes in our life over lemonade and pickles. I'm never going to be someone who can just let things go, but with the help of a run, my friends, some cheap champagne, and a little obsessing/word vomitting, I will eventually talk it out, and exhaust myself to the point where I am ready to move on. Until then, expect the champagne to cause me to speak more of my mind than anyone wanted to hear, and if you see me running don't be surprised if you hear me talking to myself, these things happen much more than I'd care to admit.